Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Daring Gods

So the world sometimes leaves you wondering
of your place in it, whether you've cause and reason.

So you look to the sky, or wherever your gods dwell
and fix a gaze forward and hurl yourself along,
drive 60 in a snow storm, carry timber across a lake
in a fourteen foot boat and three foot swells, jump from a thirty foot cliff
into dark waters, crawl
into an empty bear's den and run, face blood drained and corpse pale,
when you realize empty is a mistake.
And when it's done, and you're still there, close
your eyes, let your heart slow, let life slow.

It's not time. You're still needed.


Blogger Grendel said...

I think the poem needs some work, but it's an off the cuff first draft. Suggestions, as always, completely welcome. (yes, actually done all that. Not claiming any of it it's a particuarly great idea. . .)

1:22 PM  
Blogger Jerjo/Carjo said...

It seems a little split to me. The jump from the first segment to the second doesn't really segue.

10:46 AM  
Blogger Grendel said...

The first segment ending at "reason" and the 2nd starting with "So. . ."?

If so, yes I agree. (Really, if not, it still needs fixing.) Whether it can be fixed remains to be seen, but you're very right as to a problem there.

11:09 PM  
Blogger Cherry Red said...

Where are you, Grendel? Please come back and post more of your wonderful poems.


11:38 PM  
Blogger Grendel said...

Lol. I've been kicking a few around. :) I'll get back into, I promise.

8:48 AM  

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